But on the other hand, he also still has romantic goals/reminiscences about his seducer that are offered to the reader with no remark, and he is nonetheless conflictedly attracted to the guy and overlooks the sexual assault he inflicts on him as an grownup like it didn't occur. Here and Now, on the other hand, was like Ball trying to assemble an total exhibit out of all the ungainly "relevance" he cut out of Six Feet Under.