Desiring 'an understanding' indicates simply seeking to acquire a way to place it, a kind of text, it is not essentially a being aware of of any variety, it is just a way to chat about it. One is aware nothing at all in pleasure, in despair there is the stress of being aware of almost everything. Otherwise, know practically nothing. Nothing else is worth realizing, for all there is no God but me, immune to transform, omnipotent only in sacrifice.